Thinking more about writing . . .

Can you tell I'm getting excited about NaNoWriMo next month? It's less than a week away!

I'm thinking about it a lot. I think I've decided which idea I'll be working on, and am considering changing the setting that I had previously decided on for that novel. Not sure if it will work in a different setting, but I've got a week for mulling, and mull I shall.

I've read bajillions--I mean, a whole lot--of books about writing. Primarily books about overcoming writer's block, motivating yourself, and otherwise getting novels written for people who haven't managed to write them before. Overall, I have to say these books make my stomach hurt, and I know why.

Those how-to writers spend a lot of time talking about what stops them from writing. The inner critic, the lack of inspiration, the difficulty scheduling, the outlines or lack thereof . . . .  These are completely anti-Law of Attraction guidelines for how to write. Even if I manage to eke out a few pages while or after reading one of these books, I soon give up (if I start) and capitulate to the fear of coming up against what they warn about. Their advice is almost invariably the same: keep writing anyway. It might not be fun, but eventually you'll get into a groove and get it done.

How depressing is that?

Did Bill Gates, when he was a teenager sneaking out of his bedroom window to go program computers at 2 am, dread sitting down at the keyboard and hope for inspiration to hit eventually? I can only imagine not. I picture an acne-fied, bespectacled Gates loving every minute--even the frustrating ones. Hell, I bet the sneaking out was one of the best parts. And it all added to the joy of programming. He found his passion and followed it.

So why, when someone nervously hints they might be passionate about writing, does conventional wisdom think it's wise to warn them of pitfalls awaiting them? The cautionary tales are ostensibly so that the aspiring writer will be prepared when the inevitable happens. Could this method work for anybody? It certainly doesn't for me.

Imagine going into a new love relationship completely focused on everything that's gone wrong in the past, then reading a book warning of pitfalls that hadn't even occurred to you yet. Sure, you don't want to be blinded by love and get burned, but . . . well . . . we fall in love because it's fun, don't we? We love the good feelings, the companionship, the adventure of it all. When a new lover presents a challenge, it's more often looked at an as opportunity to expand than an annoyance.

"Why, no, I've never tried haggis, but if you like it so much I'll be willing to give it a go."

"Skydiving? I've always been terrified of heights, but if it means time with you, I'll do it."

So I think, relationship guru that I am, that the key to a loving and lasting relationship is to hold onto those good thoughts, those things you love about your lover, as much as you can, and when difficulties come, work through them. Don't sweep them under the rug, inviting resentment to build up under the surface. Instead, take the energy generated by the love you feel for each other to work through the problems.

My plan is to treat my novel as a new love relationship. It's a chance for expansion, to experience things I never have before. When I come up against a difficulty, I'll focus on what I love about writing, about my story, about life in general, and I'll get through to something way better.

And I do love writing. When I was young (before email), I'd write multi-paged letters in tiny script to all my friends. I felt I could be more my ideal self when writing, and I wanted them to know that aspect of me. I could be funny or philosophical or a little of each. I was proud of my letters, and part of what I looked forward to in receiving their letters was the knowledge that it was then my turn to write again.

On my days off there's nothing better than typing up my thoughts about the Law of Attraction for this blog while sipping coffee. I dread finishing (hence the often long posts). I feel truly at home with a keyboard.

I love the feel and sound of the keys. I love being able to say whatever I like without being interrupted (much--cutting my eyes around at our animal roommates). I love the clarity that comes to my thoughts when I put them into words. Honestly, I don't give a shit whether anybody ever reads this blog. I just enjoy writing it. I enjoy writing in general.

I've always wanted to write a novel. There's plenty of wanting there--that's a powerful start. My beliefs, in the past, have kept me from completing anything. Whether it's the idea that I don't know what should go in the middle of the book, or that it's too huge a task for me to accomplish, or, my dad's favorite line, "You never have, so what makes you think you ever will?" But those are just beliefs, and at the moment, I don't give a shit about them, either.

A belief is just a thought you keep thinking, Abraham says. I've had enough of those particular beliefs. I may not have new ones well-seated, replacing them yet, but again, I don't give a shit.

I'm excited.

I like writing.

I'm writing a novel.