I'm giggling. Blogger warned me that I'm at a site with possibly questionable content. I tagged this blog as adult because I like to say "fuck" a lot and I'm not sure what the cut-off for adult content is. I had to agree to be ok with being offended to post today, and it makes me giggle.
Pivoting, or "taking the bounce," was previously a mystery to me. I think I have it figured out now.
I was bitching to myself last week about how I hate not having money, and then it occurred to me that, instead of telling myself that I feel rich--which is what I usually try when feeling particularly broke and which only works part of the time--I might try telling myself that I love having money.
I thought back to when I got out of college (the second time) and had my first real income. I crunched the numbers and realized that I could spend a whole hundred dollars on books every month. I had a book budget! Glory be! I soon bought my first computer--a Compaq with a built-in TV tuner (now I have a TV with a built-in RGB input)--a copy of Quicken, and the greatest joy in my life was paying off credit card bills and balancing my checkbook perfectly every month.
I thought about how fun it is when things balance out and there's money left over, how nice it is to see something on sale and be able to just buy it, and instead of lamenting that that wasn't the case at the moment, I just felt the feeling of being financially balanced.
Interestingly, I got lots of tips over the weekend, an old debt was paid to me earlier this week, and--best of all--I have a promising new job that actually pays 50% commission plus tips (normal massage wages) rather than the drivel that's offered to me at the McSpa. I start next week, and I'm envisioning full schedules and fat paychecks now.
Coincidence maybe, or Law of Attraction. Whatever the pull, I'm glad I felt better, and I'm glad more money is on its way.
Meanwhile, Jessica handed me a book her dad gave her years ago, entitled The Complete Idiot's Guide to Making Money through Intuition. As you can see, it is no longer a best-seller, going for a whopping one cent at Amazon. I'm reading it now--well, not right this second, but I got through a good bit of it today--and I'm finding it eerily similar to Abraham's emotional guidance system advice. Eerily.
It's a fun read so far; some of the examples are better illustrations of intuition than others. Mostly, though, it makes me think of all the times in my life that I've gone with or against my intuition and what resulted.
Relationships with men, for example, always gave me a funny feeling in my gut, and here I am gay.
Finishing nursing school filled me with dread, while the thought of running off and working for the Alabama Shakespeare Festival (high falutin', I know) sounded fun and hopeful. I couldn't justify it to anyone else, though, so I stuck with nursing, and it was years before I could go to work without feeling trapped by that choice.
Religion, of course--I know you've heard about it already, but for most of my young life I spent hours of my time and volumes of journal entries convincing myself that the way I was headed was the right way, while all along I had a sinking feeling in my gut that it was all wrong.
My favorite example, of course, is having the feeling that I should stop and buy a scratch-off lottery ticket after leaving Jessica's house one morning and winning $100. I've tried to repeat the experience without having that same urge, and I'm lucky if I break even.
So in addition to my regular journal, where I jot down ideas and do focus wheels, my positive aspects journal, and my magical creation book, I'm starting an intuition journal. Do they still make Trapper Keepers? And are they available in pocket sizes?
