A sad turn . . .

I don't care if you're not a dog person. I love my dog. He's been with me for 8 years, which is longer than any other close non-parental relationship I've ever had. He's a trouper. He's always happy to see me, no matter what.

So when the vet called this morning to tell me that he was right about the small tumors, but that they found mast cells in the margins and Dmitri will need another surgery in 2 weeks, I was pretty hard hit.

I haven't found any material about how my mindset affects my pets' health (I have 2 cats, too). Are they in control of their own health, like we are? Is the Law of Attraction only loosely applicable when it comes to health in general? Who the hell knows? All I know is that I was vibrationally out of alignment, because I was depressed.

I tried getting angry to turn my emotional tide toward hope (anger, apparently, is closer to hope than depression is, according to the Hicks' material), but I could only stay mad for a minute, and I couldn't come up with anybody to be mad at other than the universe who made my dog malfunction. I spent a lot of time today trying to come up with more productive thoughts and emotions, and I finally decided that, whatever their official teachings on the subject might be, Dmitri is in charge of his own health. Within reason. God knows I feed him expensive enough food and take him for enough walks to keep him at the peak of health.

This didn't cheer me up quite as much as I needed to, but I do think of him as a sentient being, so it was the logical step. And if he's a sentient being, would it stand to reason that, if this disease killed him, he might reincarnate himself? I don't have an actual belief about reincarnation--I guess I sort of lean towards believing in it, but since it doesn't really affect how I live my life (whether it's my current or only one), I don't really care. But the thought that Dmitri might come back really cheered me up.

He is a very good dog. I know he would come back as whatever he would like to be. A free animal; a handsome young man. And I would be happy for him in his new life, as much as I'd miss him.

I know. Sappy fucking lesbians and their pets.

So then I started thinking about reincarnation in general, and whether an evil person like Hitler might come back as, say, a meat chicken in a factory farm.

I'll update this story line after his surgery. It's on the 20th.