Feeling rich

I know that how I feel is my responsibility. If I feel poor or uncoordinated or fearful, I can't point my finger at someone else and say, "You made me feel this way! Now you must pay!"

There are, though, things that other people do or say or just are that make me feel good. Esther gives the example of thinking of granddaughter Kate or contented cat to bring her into greater alignment, i.e. make her feel good.

So it's not my girlfriend's responsibility to make me feel good, but she does. Among other ways, she makes me feel rich.

She doesn't do this by buying me trinkets or taking me out to eat, or by spending time with me on my days off while I'm pretending I'm already in the place where I don't have to work for money.

We'll be in the car, driving to the vet or to the grocery store or to the beach for a mini-vacation, and I'll look over at her. Her hair is down, sunglasses are on, and the windows are open. Her expression says, "I don't give a fuck about anything but this moment," an expression rarely seen on anyone other than ne'er-do-wells or the privileged elite (best exhibited by people who fall into both categories). I picture her driving a Jaguar convertible and she looks exactly the same, the song "California Soul," playing in the background in my mind.

I feel myself sitting next to this beautiful, carefree woman, and know that I am privileged. I must be rich.